You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star.

Depression is a dish best served cold.

2008-04-08T18:54:42Z

I am sick of my major. I am fucking tired of people thinking they are entitled and that they don't actually have to work to get results. I am tired of people not watching the news and trying to report on it. I don't want to deal with it anymore. I have been pulling so much fucking weight in this class and I still leave it twice a week feeling like shit.
I am done, I give up, FUCK everyone in my major. They can all suck old-man cock in the gutter in the ghetto.

Now for something totally different

2008-04-07T18:51:00Z

Actually this post is very similar to the last one. I am trying to figure out what my second story is going to be for my Fantasy Writing class and I am somewhat stumped. I mean I know I want it set in a steampunk universe (gods help me with THAT idea) but I also want the story to be about hypnotic regression and past lives.

The problem you ask? I can't write Horror. So no guts, no blood, none of the stuff I hold dear. Which I guess is all right I mean, I have written anti-splatterpunk before but I am just finding the concept of not using blood at some point an annoyance.
But I need to show that I am a multi-faceted writer who is more than happy to write outside of her set boundaries... hence the steampunk issue.

Irony of all irony by the way, my Father is now thinking about going back to school and is starting to write. I do not have a problem with this but my dad really over-thinks everything. Even more than I do actually. For instance this last piece I wrote that I told him about he started sobbing over thinking that I used it as a metaphor for him....
The story is about a woman and her daughter.....yea my dad makes my analysis of everything seem tame, seriously.

Ah well, I guess I have to go figure out something interesting to do with this fic idea that is floating in my mind before it disappears.

I want to go on an epic quest!

2008-04-07T03:45:44Z

I have the writing bug but no motovation to write anything soo....to the readers of this journal (all like....seven of you)
I am going to list my fandoms and YOU all can choose one (with characters if you can name some) that you want me to write a little diddy about. And yes loli, you can make Crack pairings if you need to.

- MPD psycho
- Harry Potter
- Batman
- Torchwood
- Clockwork Orange (No Nadsat though, I want people to understand what I am saying viddy little brothers?)
- final fantasy anything
- Sandman series
- Golden Compass
- Princess Mononoke
- X-men (but I warn you I am out of practice.)

I guess I will leave the list stand as is. If you know of a fandom of mine that I have not listed just comment what you want to see and I will still write it :-)

Figures

2008-04-01T17:04:06Z

This is my week to play anchor in my news show which I have been waiting for patiently for about three months. So I wake up early, get my hair done, actually take time to put on makeup (including fucking Bronzer people!) and go to class. I was so excited I didn't even eat but just had coffee damn it.
Then I get to class, help make the rundown and what happens? Our fucking writing program that we have to use breaks down so we had to cancel our show.
Fucking figures.

Gods Help me

2008-03-13T16:44:53Z

I am not made to be an editor for news. Stupid tapes and time codes and people not giving me the RIGHT time codes.
:-( Wonderful day.....

simple update time

2008-03-10T14:20:43Z

I am taking an early morning break from working on 'Dirty Wings' to quickly update my blog. Ug, trying to write through the POV of a bird is very difficult at 8 something in the morning.

First off, let me just say Torchwood.....HOW COULD YOU SHOW ME A PREVIEW LIKE THAT OF OWEN!?! *weep*
Possibly EVIL!Owen is somewhat hot but does not hold well for him living that long. And Martha Jones? Sure she is cool with the Doctor but I kind of felt that she was just filling space on the show and a bad attempt to make viewers remember that Torchwood is a spinoff of Dr. Who. Of course there is nothing wrong with the Doctor, we all love him but you would think that the creators would think of something cooler than having Martha come to Torchwood to remind viewers of Torchwood's origin. Wow that was a strange sentence but I am too lazy to go back and fix it to fuck it.

In other news I got accepted to ravelry.com and it has devoured my poor poor, artsy soul. There is nothing better than like....a million knitting patterns for me to play with on weekends tehehehe. While on the subject on things that eat me from the inside out like an Alien larva, Dances with Dragons is comig in september!!!!! WHOOO!!!!!! Ah man, I need my crack and I have been so pateint and such a good girl while I wait for it.....

And now something for you comic fans to drool over.... the first (good) picture of the Watchmen....

NOOOO!!!!!

2008-03-03T15:14:58Z

OWEN WHY!!!!!! WHY MY OWEN DAMN IT!!!!!!!

I know it wasn't Ianto but come on!!!!!!
FOR MARTHA!?!?!
REALLY!?!?!
*hypervenalates into a bag* its ok.... Nothing on Torchwood is what it seems....

OWEN LIVES DAMN IT!

Stolen from Dino (shock!)

2008-03-02T23:13:10Z

The one who seduced you and fucked you over and broke your heart in a million pieces and laughed about it: Harry Potter. I was a first gen Fandom girl who stuck with it to the end. But there are just so many crappy people involved in it now and everything that can possibly be done with it has been done that I feel like it is not mine anymore. :: sigh::

The old flame you don't see very often any more but whom you still really enjoy getting together with for a few drinks and maybe a pleasant nostalgic romp in the sheets: X-men has been sneaking up on me lately.

The mysterious dark gothy one whom you used to sit up with talking until 3 a.m. at weird coffeehouses and with whom you were quite smitten until you realized he really was fucking crazy:   Star wars....clearly Star wars.

The one you spent a whole weekend in bed with and who drank up all your liquor, and whom you'd still really like to fuck again although you're relieved he doesn't actually live in town: .   Twilight Saga....

The steady: Right now Batman and Torchwood

The alluring strangers whom you've flirted with at parties but have never gotten really serious with: . Death Note :: giggles at Light ::

The one you hang out with and have vague fantasies about maybe having a thing with but ultimately you're just good buddies 'cause the friendship is there but the chemistry ain't:   Shadow from American Gods

The one your friends keep introducing you to and who seems like a hell of a cool guy except it's never really gone anywhere: Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit

The one who's slept with all your friends, and you keep looking at him and thinking, "him? how the hell did he land all these cool babes?": Buffy/Angel since I dropped out of that fandom pretty early....like third season

The one your friend has fallen for like a ton of bricks and whom she keeps babbling to you about on the phone for hours, and you'd be happy for her except you just know it's going to end badly: There is no such thing as a bad fandom. Its like Ice Cream, everyone has their favorite flavor.

The on-again/off-again relationship: Final Fantasy VII and Clockwork Orange.

:: sigh ::

2008-02-22T16:44:11Z

I told you I would be cool with whatever you threw at me, which is true but right now I am going to bitch since, well, you deserve to be bitched at.

You should have told me the fucking truth instead of making me feel like shit. I figured you were not interested, it was pretty clear but I just thought that maybe, just maybe you were acting the way you were out of nerves. I was wrong.

If you told me the truth last week I probably would have more respect for you right now. But instead you caused me to stress for a week over something that just wasn't going to happen anyway. Fuck you for doing that, it was not fair and did nothing more than piss me off.

However this experience did solidify one thing, that I do, in fact have the confidence not only to tell someone the truth about how I feel for them but that I can be a bitch right back to them if they are being shady which, my dear boy, you certainly were.

P.S for my people who read this, I did tell him what he did was shady and that it was all right.... he couldn't satisfy me in a relationship sense anyway. :-P

Dear World....

2008-02-19T14:54:20Z

Dear Globe,

I know you technically don't like global warming, considering it makes you like an elderly woman with a hot flash but seriouisly, have you ever gone to Chicago in the Winter? It is very, very cold.

I mean, would you really mind if we got some arisole cans and pumped more gasoline into the air. Yes I know we are killing off all of those white bears (someone won't let me call them by any other name) but who really NEEDS bears way up there anyway. Maybe they are just black bears who are so cold they turned white anyway. Plus I think that they would thank us for warming them up a little bit.

Plus who in the hell needs the east coast for anything besides shopping? Seriously, Globe, have you ever gone to the east coast? It is pretty yea but other than that, it is just taking up space.
Globe, I hope you would consider warming up Chicago, I don't enjoy looking at the lake and seeing literal icebergs floating around. It is kind of scary.

With Love,
Crow-Z

WHOOOO!!!!!

2008-02-14T03:58:55Z

MY BOYS MADE IT TO THE FINALS ON PROJECT RUNWAY!!!
WHOOO!!!!!
GO CHRISTIAN AND CHRIS!!!

And Jillian too of course :-)

And an FYI to Rami... A woman is not a window covering so STOP DRAPPING!

Just a warning this blog is angsty

2008-02-12T23:00:44Z

I am stuck at work until 6 tonight and I refuse to do any of the written homework I have assigned to me here. Why this is, I am not sure except maybe procrastination.
I also know it has been a long time since I have posted last but hey, I am a busy woman after all.

So it is that time of the year where I am going to go on my V-day rant and why, gods why I hate it as much as I do (and this year I think I will be a little more honest on why I hate it.)

It comes down to this; happy people. All the cute little couples walking down the street, the men clearly not giving a rat's ass about the whole thing and wondering how much more money they are going to have to spend for some nookie.
To go with that I don't understand why the holiday is so loved. Personally I think it would be much more speical and loving if my signif. other deicded to be all cute and romantic on an unexpected day. Like a random Tuesday or something like that instead of the designated day of commerical love.

But maybe I am just bitter (which is more likely the case.) My track record with the day o' pink is actually very horrid. Two break ups and then years of nothing make for one very, very pissed off girl. Which I think is expected of course. I mean yea, sure at one time I was a sap and a romantic who wanted nothing more than to have that scene where that guy is calling that girl in the rain outside her house from 'High Fidelity.'

I guess I came to the conclusion that I was never going to be that girl. I was never going to be the one to get a guy who was that crazy about her. That or I figured out that movies are just that and not real life.

So this year I am getting prepared early. I expect nothing so then I don't set myself up for any let-down, which is always a constant worry of mine for those of you who might not have caught on yet.
::sigh :: I know that the part of me who wishes is still there (and here I come with the sap people which basically solidifies it) but I will get the thoughts out of my head. For I am not the extra is some damned Juilia Roberts movie no matter how much I might have hoped and there is no such thing as Prince Charming.
Ah well, time to get engrossed in my work so I can refrain from thinking anymore.

Dear Thin People

2008-01-31T14:51:02Z

Dear Thin People,

Just because you only have one didget in your pant size does not mean that all clothing fits you. Your back-fat still exsists, trust me on this since I am forced to walk behind you while you struggle with your purse that can hold a small nation in the secret pocket. To tell you the truth, your back-fat is the most disturbing, since it can sometimes be hard to determine if it is indeed a gilatinous piece of flesh or just really shitty genetics that makes the bones in your shoulders jiggle.

And you also still have muffin-tops. Lets get this clear ladies, just because you are small doesn't mean you ALL can fit into size 2. If you are a three, you're a three, don't try to squeez into something that doesn't fit otherwise I crave blueberry muffins, which are hard to find on campus.

Lastly for my thin guys, girl's pants are ok, I get it, they are in fashion. But the point of girl pants is to make sure they fit correctly. Wearing girl pants and trying to make them fall off your lack-of-ass defeats the whole purpose. Sorry but it is true.

Love,
Crow-z

The Narcissa Ballgown

2008-01-30T02:34:19Z

Yea, wanna see the pattern for my cosplay ball night?
Oh you know you do!

Yea the jacket comes off and is HAWT!!!!
On top of it there are some alterations being made, like the strap is going to be a silver snake (of course the dressy is dark green but the jacket/accessories will be black.)
MAWHAHAHAHA so excited!

A very important lesson for those of us who get motion sickess

2008-01-22T00:25:17Z

Seeing 'Cloverfield' is a very bad idea. I literally was only able to watch 10 minutes of the movie before I had to put my coat over my head to stop from getting sick. Honest to God I was so sick I thought I could taste bile at one point.
However from what I gathered from the little bit of the movie I saw and the dialog between the actors I can safely say that I wasn't missing much.
Oh well, at least I saw the preview for 'Ironman.'

Dear Panera customers at State and Congress,

2008-01-15T20:51:27Z

I understand that the use of your laptop is all emcompassing but could you please get up so I can eat my lunch.
I know you see me, over the glowing screen of your all important piece of technology that you need everyone to see standing in the middle of the room with my bowl of incredibly hot soup which is getting colder by the minute looking for a place to sit.

And I know it must be very inconvient of you to possibly decide to use the free WiFi connection at the library across the street for that might mean that someone of some sort of intellect might not care about you, for Mac laptop and the cup of Chai you are drinking.

But to be fair, my baked potato soup, sweet and delicious is getting colder by the second and I really need to sit down to enjoy my lunch for, if you all do not know this, eating soup, in a bowl, while standing up and balancing a tray in my 'should-be-free' hand is very, very hard. If you don't know waht this is like, please, try it sometime, you might understand my plea to you better.

Again I know it is very hard for you to contimplate the strife of others, since, for the most part, you are all in your 20's and in college like me and can only think of your current desire to be seen with your lappys, like you are part of some new religious cult but you see, eating is my cult and I am pretty sure it is yours as well. Unless you can live off of those Chai tea lattes you keep ordering.

Now, please move, or I will pour my almost cold soup right on your computer and on your head.

With hates and resentment,
a very hungry Crow-Z

One more stick to add to the fire

2008-01-07T18:21:26Z

I was awakend from my slumbers this morning by screaming.
Not just one person screaming, but an organized chanting outside my house that echoed through the alleyway and scared my dogs.
Being a reasonably unreasonable person I thought that maybe there was a massive group of people who were going to re-create part of 'Suicide Club' but I was wrong. It was something, much, much worse.
It turns out that the people outside my house were protesters, I, of course leap to the conclusion that PETA had finally found me and were going to beat me with tofu bricks covered in red paint but again, I was wrong. The protesters were all screaming about impeachment and as I looked around my humble little neighborhood I saw a sea of nothing but news vans and reporters hovering around the protesters trying to get interviews and photos.
Clearly I knew Bushy was in town, it was all over the place that he would be talking about his 'no child left behind' (unless you're poor, a minority or in public school) here this week. ...
....
....
His speech is at a Grammar school I can see from my front window....
There is offically no parking allowed in a two block radius of my house and I have to show 'credientials' to get home today.
I just think it is curious that Bushy, after the Republican party gets so much flack about having hoophobic gay people in their ranks Bushy deciding to go to Boystown to give a speech seems a little funny to me.
Ah well, maybe he is trying to 'reach out'.. or his secret security is pulling a fast...erm I mean...slow one on their boss.

<3

2008-01-04T20:38:31Z

This is for all my fanfic lovers......

Stole this from Dino per usual

2007-12-31T19:27:08Z

Bold the ones that are true for you.

The list is based on an exercise developed by Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill, Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, Stacy Ploskonka at Illinois State University. The exercise developers ask that if you participate in this blog game, you acknowledge their copyright.

Father went to college
Father finished college
Mother went to college
Mother finished college
Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor
Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers
Had more than 50 books in your childhood home
Had more than 500 books in your childhood home
Were read children's books by a parent
Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18
Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18
The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively
Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18
Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs
Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs
Went to a private high school
Went to summer camp
Had a private tutor before you turned 18
Family vacations involved staying at hotels
Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18
Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them
There was original art in your house when you were a child
Had a phone in your room before you turned 18
You and your family lived in a single family house
Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home
You had your own room as a child
Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course
Had your own TV in your room in High School
Owned a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College
Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16
Went on a cruise with your family
Went on more than one cruise with your family
Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up
You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family

psychological disorder x-mas carols

2007-12-26T04:24:23Z

I just thought I would share this with you all before I go to bed.

1. Schizophrenia -- Do You Hear What I Hear, the Voices, the Voices?

2. Amnesia -- I Don't Remember If I'll be Home for Christmas

3. Narcissistic Personality Disorder -- Hark the Herald Angels
Sing About Me

4. Bipolar Disorder (Manic Episode) -- Deck The Halls And Walls
And House And Lawn And Streets And Stores And Office And Town And Cars
And Buses And Trucks And Trees And Fire Hydrants And.......

5. Multiple Personality Disorder -- We Three Queens Disoriented Are...

6. Paranoid -- Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Us.

7. Borderline Personality Disorder -- You Better Watch Out, You
Better not Shout, I'm Gonna Cry, and I'll not Tell You Why

8. Antisocial Personality Disorder -- Thoughts of Roasting You On
an Open Fire.

9. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder -- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...

10. Agoraphobia -- I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't
Leave My House

11. Alzheimer's Disease/Senile Dementia -- Walking In a Winter
Wonderland Miles from My House in My Slippers and Robe.

12. Oppositional Defiant Disorder -- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa
Claus So I Burned Down the House.

13. Social Anxiety Disorder -- Have Yourself a Merry Little
Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate.

14. Attention Deficit Disorder -- We Wish You......Hey Look!! It's
Snowing!!

OMFG

2007-12-23T04:25:37Z

MUSEFATAL AND I ARE GOING TO SEE FLOGGING MOLLY!!!!!!!!!
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Can you tell I am a LITTLE excited bout this and if you want to join us the tickets are on sale for the Chicago House of Blues for Feb 15th, 2008 for 28 bucks with the ticketmaster price.
OMG FLOGGING MOLLY!!!

<3

2007-12-22T21:59:56Z

My little brothers both got accepted into the advanced placement program for high school next year which is an awesome Winter solscist gift if you ask me.
We also went and saw national treasure two which, like expected, was boring and predicable.

HOWEVER I found this little gem on a mary-sue website and I thought I would post it here before too many of these fics start showing up.

The dismal tale of Sweeney Todd
By fangirls he will be over-trod
Although the movie's a genuine "R"
The legion of pre-teens will come from afar.
And transform our poor Sweeney Todd.
To Sweetie Todd.
The Emo cutter of Fleet Street.

omg omg omg omg omg

2007-12-13T15:52:13Z

I went and saw 'I am Legend' last night which actually turned out not to be that bad. It was interesting to see how the main character handled isolation in such a large city and also the main explination of the outbreak was very well done as well. The later half of the movie got a little too 'preacher' in quality for me which was disappoint.
BUT OMG THE BATMAN MINI MOVIE ::drool::
Seeing Joker walking down the street with some BIG ass gun just shooting randomly AND the Bat-cycle!!!!!!!!
Seriously I think I fangirl came at that.

crow_z @ 2007-12-11T13:42:00

2007-12-11T19:49:08Z

I have not posted in a LOOOONNNNNGGGGG time and I am sorry for that.
Finals week(s) are horrid plus with taking the GRE on saturday my mind is completely fried. As of right now I have a paper to finish on transgender youth but clearly I am not working on it when I should be seince it is due tomorrow at noon.
I also have a fanfic piece due for my Harry Potter class which will take less than a half hour to produce but still is eating away at me. Ah well, when I have that one done I will post it up here so everyone can laugh and my shitty writing ability.
Well, sadly I have to get back to work and I have to e-mail my lit professor about making that panel for my class at Terminus since she almost had a nose bleed when I told her about it.
Ciao and I will write more later when I actually have the time.
P.S I got published ya'll!
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/469692/lost_life_the_story_of_michael_evans.html

OoO

2007-11-30T04:05:45Z

So after a Long conversation with Kitsu over the past few days I finally went ahead and watched the first episode of Death Note and I am hooked.
....Mmmmm sexy people with god mentalities always get my heart pumping.